Social network? How do you figure?

I just read a comment someone wrote about Facebook. It wasn't long, it just contained a short quip about the user's mom and what she said about it. What she said was that ever since Facebook became popular and everyone started using it she, being one of the few who doesn't use it, has lost track of what is going on with the people she knows. She used to get the occasional e-mail or phone call, but now, nothing. This brought to mind the fact that, though they call it a social network, Facebook is more like a social cop-out. I know some of you will argue this, that it is a great way to be more involved in the life of others, but I am going to post my thoughts on it.

Now, to make sure it is clear, I hardly log in to Facebook, let alone actually use it. Every time I log in to it I see random comments that to understand I would have to read millions of posts from many people to get a somewhat hazy picture of what the poster might actually be talking about, I just don't have the patience to figure out someone else's drama, so I avoid Facebook and if anyone messages me on it I usually don't see it until much later. Anyway, that being said here is why I feel that using a social network to connect with others is really just a way to not do it.

Our communication skills have been getting worse as our technology improves. It used to be you had to travel somewhere to talk to someone and that made it a very special occasion to get to catch up with them. Then at some point we started sending messages, like mail, with someone to be delivered. This made it possible for us to keep up on the more recent events but it was still special to see people, this was actually an improvement. The next thing that happened is we could call someone and talk to them, hearing someone's voice can be very comforting and also gives us a more instant connection to people, talking on the phone can still be quite personal, though a letter is more heartfelt and visiting in person is still the best way to connect with someone. The next things that happened were technology, we started sending e-mails, still something we could personalize, like a letter, except that it arrived nearly instantly. We eventually moved on to paging people or sending text messages, which limited the things we could say which changed our language and degraded our skills in actually writing. Then we continued down this path and eventually arrived with social networks. Now, instead of sending a person a letter, calling someone specifically or using any other of the past points of contact we can just post our thoughts to everyone in general and if we want to connect with someone specifically we "like" their post or say something short and truly pathetic in terms of comfort to what we previously had. So, instead of making single, personal connections that take time out of our lives and let people know we care, we instead can put this little "social" blurbs about what's going on and let people know we saw they wrote something. Don't you feel so much closer now to the person who said, "Yeah, that sucks" to you when you shared your absolutely worst experience ever with them? Yeah, I don't either.

So, to keep with the theme of this blog, your life will be quite a bit greener if you take some time to really connect with others. Give someone a call or write them a letter, it will make them feel better and in turn you'll feel better as well, especially if they take the time to write a letter back.

As a side note, I must add this as well. Social networks aren't all evil, they do have some benefits for people that really don't have much time in the day and need to connect somehow. My wife for example pointed out that it helps her feel less lonely in the day and she doesn't really have the ability to call someone or write a letter when she's watching two young children. So yes, they have their place, but my argument is that they aren't always as social as they are made to be.

I Don't Have Time

How often is it that we won't make a change or try something new in our lives because we simply think we don't have time? The fact of the matter is, I'm betting we do have time, we just choose to use it for something else, and often I remember my time being used on pointless things, like video games and television shows. Now, I do still enjoy some time with these, but I also enjoy the time I take to do something good in my life too. It isn't anything life changing I do, sometimes I simply go help make dinner or do a few dishes, it makes the biggest difference to my wife, but I also feel a sense of accomplishment with my evening as well, and I usually still have time to watch a show or play a game afterwards anyway. The funny thing about not having time for something is that when you say you don't have time for it you are really saying that it isn't that important to you. If it were important you would make time, how many people will make sure they're at home to watch a football game or have time to go to a bar with their friends? But they don't have time to make their life better? Any change you make or anything new you try takes some time, you have to learn how to do it, but after a few tries you eventually find that it isn't that hard and the time you spent is worth it in the end.

For us changing our diet was hard, but once we got used to it we found that it was much easier and was worth it. Getting rid of cable was hard, we went stir crazy for a while trying to figure out what to do with our time, but we adjusted to it, we found some new shows to watch when we needed to watch something and we also began to find the joy in watching shows online. Recently we discovered the joy of Netflix and instant streaming of content, now we don't need cable, why would we? We have access to just about anything we would like to watch and everything else is just a matter of time and patience to get access to. These shows aren't so important to us that we must see them right now, we can wait, there are more important things in life to enjoy, such as our time together as a family. If you find that you use this excuse of not having time to improve your life, you might want to ask yourself if that's true and if you really do care about it enough to make time for it. Going green isn't always easy, but it is time well spent, for you, your family and all the other people that share this world with you.